Recently a family member posted the following link to my Facebook page http://www.rantchic.com/2015/03/24/15-photos-of-biracial-people-that-will-blow-your-mind/?utm_campaign=RantChicFB&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=referral. The gist of the post seems to be biracial people should be the standard of beauty, mostly because they are rare. I laughed it off, commenting, “My kids should be on here,” but honestly I felt uneasy as I scrolled through the post. I’ve examined where that unease came from and be prepared, I might be asking you to be even more politically correct, which I know annoys a great deal of the nation if internet comments are anything to go on.
Long before a child was a possibility my girl friends would randomly comment on Wole and I’s relationship, “Think how pretty your kids will be!” Again I laughed and agreed, but something felt off. Wouldn’t anybody’s kids be cute? The author of the link, Gabriella, states, “These people won the genetic lottery.” By declaring bi-racial the genetic winner than does that make black, white, and Asian the genetic losers? I don’t know a single parent that would say so. Every rational adult I know would admit there are few babies that are not considered cute. So why do people feel the need to let me know how cute my children would be or now are?
My first thought is that it actually might be an attempt to be PC. As I’ve discussed in my own life experience, mixed race couples are still fighting for acceptance. Interracial marriage has officially been legal since 1967 (my mom was 11!) and the last state to finally vote out their ban on interracial marriage was in 2000 (thanks for nothing Alabama) and the vote was close. In declaring a love for my children’s looks, my friends and family embrace our family make up and I genuinely appreciate it. So what’s the problem? Where does the unease come from?
Do you have to compare my kids to coffee? I get it, a lot of people I know have not encountered this novelty before (and I do love coffee), but do you have to treat my kids like anomalies? I know you don’t see the possible damage it could do, you’re just trying to be accepting. When you fuss over my daughters’ looks you are sending them the message that their looks are the most important thing about them and that they are an other, something different. “Your curls are so pretty!” This is fine. “Your curls are so pretty, I wish I had them!” Now we are crossing into dangerous territory. They are now something exotic and out of place. And strangers playing with their hair….well they are not in a petting zoo.
My girls are beautiful and I love their curls, permanently tanned skin, and big brown eyes. Just know you and your children are equally beautiful and whether we have straight hair or curly, brown eyes or blue, brown hair or blonde we need to accept and love ourselves as we are without comparisons.