Top 10 Stereotypes About My Marriage I’m Tired of Hearing!

A while back Ashlyn Sullivan published an article in Cosmo about 11 things not to say to an inter-racial couple ( and I couldn’t identify with 90% of it and have wanted to give my reaction.  So here are my “Top 10 Stereotypes About My Marriage I’m Tired of Hearing!”

  1. “Your parents must have been cool with it, since you’re married now.”  Actually no they weren’t.  They tried to find a reason to deport Wole when our engagement proved the relationship wasn’t going anywhere.  I fought hard for Wole and would have cut off my family if I’d had to.   Eventually we got to a somewhat okay place, but I can’t say I’ve ever completely forgiven them for their bigotry.
  2. “Is your ‘you know what’ why he liked you?” Alright, yes I have a big booty.  However, I would like to believe my husband chose me for my winning personality.  And really everyone should like decent sized booties, or as I prefer it be called, the “healthy” look.
  3. “Oh, guys from over there are real domineering right?” I’m not going to lie and say Nigeria is not a male dominated society, but Wole has and always will treat me as his equal in this partnership.  Plus, those that live in glass houses… just saying.
  4. Telling me how my kids are more beautiful than non-mixed kids, comparing them to coffee flavors, etc. I wrote a whole post on this, so I won’t go there again.  You get it.
  5. Anything about chocolate preferences (This is where I agree with Ashlyn). I do prefer dark chocolate, but that is beside the point.
  6. “White women: black men’s kryptonite” I do not have some crazy powers over my husband, including some crazy bed stuff. Wole and I once found an article by a Nigerian man about the foreign white she-devil and her mind altering bedroom prowess.  Again, this is a partnership and I in no way control my husband.
  7. “What kind of food does he cook?” (usually with a look of fear or disdain)  Wole makes amazing dishes, such as fried rice and chicken.  Sure Wole also enjoys snails, ox tail, and goat, but I read recently foreigners find our root beer floats and processed cheese weird.
  8. “How did you meet him?” (also usually with a look of disdain) Believe it or not we have a lot in common and he was interesting to talk to.  I didn’t see him as an oddity, but somebody that I liked talking to and that was fun to be around.
  9. “Is his English good?” or “Was it hard to communicate at first?”  Nigeria is an English speaking country.  Need I say more?
  10. Anything about Ebola. No, just no.

2 thoughts on “Top 10 Stereotypes About My Marriage I’m Tired of Hearing!

  1. I know this isn’t meant to be funny but I giggled. My parents were an interracial couple but Asian – Caucasian and that comes with its own ugly set of stereotypes which are not worth repeating. The last one about ebola made me LOL. Seriously, NO, GTFO, NO.


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